The Dojo Stocked With Cake (ON HIATUS)
by OnnaMurcielago666
Summary: "It's Hosts versus us, Morinozuka;" Takao growled, "dojo aside, which makes him fair game." Pulling out of Mori's grip, Takao snapped, "You" –He pointed to Mori and Haruhi,- "us," –He and a boy grouped together,- "school dojo, six weeks. Winner takes club funding." And then Takao and his cronies were gone. Haruhi locked eyes with Mori again. "What just happened?" (MoriXHaruhi)
1. Starting Today, Haruhi Does Kendo?

CHAPTER ONE

"Ne! Takashi!" Honey could see his towering cousin ahead of him and he sped up, dragging Haruhi with him and leading the Hosts with her as bait. "Can Haru-chan and I- Takashi?"

"Come on, Morinozuka,"Sneered the teen standing eye-to-eye with the silent Host. "Or are you scared you'll lose?" His taunt carried well, making anyone who heard him freeze- had he just insulted Mori-senpai? Haruhi heard Honey gasp and tensed herself: Mori was kind, Mori was gentle, Mori was selfless- how dare he? Haruhi felt the twins beside her, Tamaki and Kyoya on their heels, and she bit her cheek. She shouldn't get in over her head. Last time she had, she received a swift blow and an icy dunk in the ocean as her reward. It would be fine; Mori could- "Well?" The nameless teen gave the tallest Host a little shove. "Do it, you-"

"Leave Mori-senpai alone!" Haruhi blurted, unable to contain it as her senior regained his balance. In an instant, she was beside Honey's cousin and the centre of attention. Tamaki and the twins called her name frantically and the boys flanking Mori's antagonist mocked them crudely as their leader stepped toward her.

"Or what, 'Haruhi'?" Scoffed the teen, leering at her. "Are you gonna poor me to death?" He and his friends laughed, turning Haruhi's determination to iron, and Mori looked down at her in well-masked surprise.

"What?" Haruhi asked, catching sight of his expression.

"Fine!" The teen grabbed Haruhi's arm before Mori could reply and squeezed hard: "You can be-" Suddenly, Mori intervened and did the same to the boy's arm. Haruhi's captor let go with a gasp and Haruhi held her sore arm tightly against her thin body, outraged at the sudden use of force.

"Leave Haruhi out of this, Takao." Mori said sternly, sounding almost frightening. "Haruhi doesn't practice ken-"

"It's Hosts versus us, Morinozuka;" Takao growled, "dojo aside, which makes him **fair game**." Pulling out of Mori's grip, Takao snapped, "You" –He pointed to Mori and Haruhi,- "us," –He and a boy grouped together,- "school dojo, six weeks. Winner takes club funding."

And then Takao and his cronies were gone.

Haruhi locked eyes with Mori again. "What just happened?"

~OHSHC~

Soon, the Hosts were gathered in Music Room #3 –which they had closed for the day- and Honey had explained the altercation for his quiet cousin.

"So my precious daughter is going to fight one of those kendo brutes?!" Tamaki groaned, draping his hugging self all over Haruhi, who took it in stride. "I simply won't allow it! Haruhi's a-"

"Senpai, could you stop screaming in my ear?" Haruhi asked politely, leaning away from the blond Host King as much as she could. Tamaki took one look at her irritated expression and fled to his specially-delegated sulking corner, a scared shadow hovering over him. Haruhi considered apologizing, but reconsidered.

"Haruhi doesn't know the first thing about kendo!" Hikaru and Kaoru said, taking turns to speak. "What chance does she have at winning?"

"And how on Earth will she have time to train?"

"What about the club?! If she loses-"

Haruhi –listening to their complaints and concerns silently- felt her heart sink. They could have at least tried to be supportive.

"Haru-chan won't lose." Honey said suddenly, surprising everyone. "She's got the best teacher ever!"

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. '_Damn rich people,_'


	2. The Host Club Convenes!

CHAPTER TWO

"HONEY-SENPAI!" Tamaki wailed, throwing Haruhi into a deathly-tight bear hug that stole her breath away. She wriggled, squirming against his chest, and screwed up her face at the strength of his cologne.

"…sen-senpai…?" she wheezed as he fawned and moaned, too distracted to hear her. "I can't… breathe…" Haruhi winced as her fellow Hosts paid her no mind and gasped, "M-Mori-senpai…" Her chocolate-brown eye closed as she tried to conserve oxygen, but it wasn't necessary when Tamaki was removed. She opened her eyes and found herself seated in her saviour's kendo-honed arms, quite cozy tucked close to Mori's chest.

"Huh?" Tamaki was dumbfounded; "Mori-senpai! How dare you steal my darling daughter! Return her at once!" He was 'exercising his kingly authority', as he called it, and the twins cracked up.

"Hey, Boss!" Hikaru cackled, "Lose something?"

"Like Haruhi?" Kaoru finished, "That's sad that the King lost to Mori-senpai!"

Hikaru leered: "Maybe Mori-senpai should be the new King!" As soon as the suggestion was made, Tamaki was in a darkening corner weeping to himself. Haruhi, on the other hand, found herself still seated in her silent rescuer's grasp, tucked to his chest.

"Ne… Mori-senpai?" Haruhi said suddenly, looking up at him.

"Hm?" Mori looked down, breathing in Haruhi's face as a result,

"Can you put me down?"

Awkward silence filled the air and Mori double-blinked before he knelt chivalrously and set her on her dainty feet. Haruhi sighed quietly, straightening her uniform, and looked over at Honey.

"Senpai, I don't think it will h-" "Takashi will teach you everything!" Honey interrupted cheerfully, earning a nod as Mori's response. "And I know lots of good exercises to help you bulk up and get super strong!" Honey shoved his sleeve up and flexed, grinning, "Like me!"

Haruhi smiled half-heartedly: "But the-" "And we can use Takashi's dojo! And you can come over to my house! And-" "Senpai," "And-!" "SENPAI!"

The Hosts stared in shock as Haruhi raised her voice.

"Senpai," Haruhi said sharply, "I'm only one person! I can't go to school, keep up with my schoolwork, participate in all club activities, keep my house, **and** do all this extra training. When would I?" She dropped her tense shoulders and looked at Honey almost helplessly: "I know my limits, and I've reached them…"

"We could help." Mori said suddenly, making everyone jump. "It's not just **your** club at stake."

"Yeah…" Hikaru and Kaoru nodded, "we have plenty of maids just doing useless stuff. We'll lend you some."

"I can talk to the teachers," Tamaki assured her, "and I know they'll understand as long as your in-class work stays the same." Haruhi gaped at their eagerness to help. She protested, claiming that maids and a little smooth-talking wouldn't get her out of club activities or her usual customers.

"Quite right," Kyoya said smoothly, "however, I know that your customers would love to see something more masculine from you… and this is a wonderful opportunity to put our new cameras to use."

In the face of such support, Haruhi couldn't help feeling a little touched and she smiled at the Hosts before her.

"So, Haru-chan? Will you do it?" Honey asked, his coffee-brown eyes sparkling with excitement.

"It won't be easy…" Warned the Twins, "Kendo is super disciplined!"

"And physical." Kyoya put in, obviously remembering her lack of athletic ability.

"I know." Haruhi said, "But I'll do my best." Looking up she locked eyes with Mori and nodded, "Besides, people don't get away with treated my friends like that."


	3. Something You Should Know!

Hey, everybody!

Recently, I was in an accident and got hit by a van. I suffered a level 2 concussion from not wearing my helmet, got 8 staples in my head, got 5 stitches in my leg, and ripped the ligaments on either side of my right ankle entirely away. I'm on crutches and missed some important weeks of school so, while I am trying to write and get you all updates, I'm really also trying to focus on getting better and recovering my lost school performance.

I've got two months of biweekly laser therapy lined up to repair my ankle, and that's going to be so much fun. I love hearing everyone giving me suggestions about my writing and how I can improve it (shout-outs to: **Uninvited Guest(Guest), TheMysticWolf36(user) **and **Lovely Manga (Guest)** for their suggestions on _Bruder, Come Home!_ And _Le Lettre De Mon Amour_). I appreciate everyone else who's helped me along my writing journey, but these lucky two were the only handles I had on file right now.

Unfortunately, I had my laptop with me in the crash and, being on a bike and getting smashed with a van going 66 km/h, it suffered more than I did. The newest chapter of _Bruder Come Home_ was on there, to be posted that day, but as of now all my works and newest updates are out of reach. Hopefully ASUS will recover my files and replace my laptop, but I can't be sure. If they do, I can get my 'Helpful People' list and send another mass letter to all those great writers and writeresses who've been such great people.

Until I post again, and hopefully that's soon,

OnnaMurcielago666


	4. Rei Means Respect

CHAPTER THREE

**I'm back! Welcome, everyone who is so fabulous, to the return of OnnaMurcielago666 (who shall soon be known as something else)! After much recovery time and so many wonderful, warm-hearted readers' comments, I have written my first P.A. (post-accident) fanfiction! From here on, I will be using a few kendo terms for their movements and positioning, but I'll try and keep it as simple as possible. As always, there will be a glossary at the bottom and you can always look it up if you're confused. I'm basing all my kendo research off of Norwalk's practices, which seem very accurate and reliable.**

_**~OHSHC belongs to Bisco Hatori~**_

"Again." Mori said shortly, his voice as rhythmic and monotonous as a bell. The wooden practice sword came down and tapped her calves: "Stay tight."

"I'm-." "Sh." Mori pressed the sword down into the tatami before her face and Haruhi bit her lip. "If you're speaking, you're not focused." Grinding her teeth subtly, Haruhi resigned herself to strained silence, her blood rushing through her ears like a waterfall, and she fumbled for something –anything!- to focus on other than her trembling muscles and burning lungs. When Kyoya had said that training would be difficult, Haruhi hadn't doubted the demon king, but this was insane even on Ouran standards!

Since last week, Haruhi had been poked and prodded and patted by that pliable bamboo practice sword so many times that it had started to haunt her dreams. Now, feeling the tip touch her quivering shoulders, Haruhi wanted to scream!

"Stop." Mori's order was a blessing and, released from her internal hell, Haruhi collapsed with a gasp and a heavy 'thump'. However, just as suddenly, Mori prodded her sharply in the side with a different sword and forced her up onto her knees and into seiza*. Her calves wailed brokenly as she forced them beneath her, jaw clenched, and reluctantly lowered her weight onto her aching legs; the sharp jab was retracted. Haruhi looked up at Mori to speak and took the practice sword's tip in her cheek as he made her face forward.

"Mori-s-" "You will address me as sensei." Mori spoke slowly and deeply, his voice ringing in the silence, and Haruhi's guts clenched as his harsh tone drove into her insensitively. She just wanted to ask him a question and he was abusing the power he had: "Mokuso*."

Grumbling under her breath, Haruhi sighed and went to shift her hands. Unfortunately, the sharp sting of a blow from the practice sword in Mori's right hand set her fingers afire. Gasping, Haruhi clutched her own hands to her chest and stared up at her teacher in outrage and distress; he HIT her!

"That**-**" She managed, dry-mouthed from Mori's strange behaviour. Since they had started, he had been different, but this was the first change that made Haruhi uncomfortable. What was he DOING?

Mori, who had been looking at the far wall, looked down at her silently and Haruhi bit her tongue at the gleam in his dark eyes. She suddenly realized how disrespectful she had been, perusing through her scant knowledge of kendo and its intensely formal procedures, and felt foolish. She had volunteered herself as the representative for the Host Club when Mori or Honey could easily have won and now she was acting like a spoiled brat with their club on the line. Squaring her shoulders, Haruhi grudgingly admitted she could take a few swats if it meant keeping her word.

"I apologize, Morinozuka-sensei," Haruhi said clearly, swallowing and bending herself into a seated bow despite her aching hands. "for my rudeness."

"Nn." To her surprise, Mori didn't respond and, when she peeked up, he wasn't facing her at all. She stiffened indignantly, reining in her response, and returned her eyes to the ground to wait for him to notice her bow and reply that he'd forgiven her. She waited, and waited, and soon her back was aching from the bow and she regretted speaking up all over again.

"'Kendo begins and ends with _rei*._'" Haruhi frowned at her little piece of floor, not daring to look up now that Mori's voice was floating so close, and listened intently. "'While the character is usually translated as bowing, more literally it means **courtesy**. It also encompasses the related concepts of rei-gi* and rei-ho*. Rei-gi means manners or etiquette, referring to the techniques or actions of showing courtesy and respect, while rei-ho is a term that expresses the rules or concepts of courtesy and respect.'" As Haruhi listened, she realized more and more that, in his own passive way, Mori was scolding her for her disrespect and she blushed with embarrassment.

"Sensei-" "'Rei-gi is an extremely important part of kendo. The basic rules come from the formal, highly stylized social system of Japan. Simply stated, rei-gi is based on respect - for one's sensei, fellow kenshi, equipment, etcetera.'" Mori didn't stop when Haruhi spoke up, touching her head from above to silence her as he continued, and Haruhi sweated anxiously as his hand lifted away. She looked up tentatively, always waiting for the hand to return and force her to look down, but Mori didn't touch her again. Instead, she looked right at him and saw, with shock, that he was reciting a passage from memory, his eyes focus on her intently. "'In practice, it is not that simple. There is a prescribed method for virtually every action, and failure to adhere to proper behavior may taken as a sign of poor instruction or, in some cases, as a severe insult.'" Now Haruhi winced, unable to look away even as he finished and fell silent.

"Senp-Sensei," Haruhi mumbled, swallowing when Mori was silent. "I apologize for my rudeness. Please teach me."

"No, we're done for today." Mori said softly, putting the bamboo practice sword away and wielding his wooden blade expertly as he moved about. "Wakare*, Haruhi. Now we bow." Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Haruhi got up and followed his lead as he made a smooth, respectful bow and held it for a breath before straightening. Haruhi knew that her bow had been nowhere near as graceful, but that didn't stop her from trying to replicate his actions.

"Goodbye*, Mori-senp-" Haruhi stopped herself this time, noting how his grip changed on the wooden sword as she nearly slipped up again. She quickly bowed. "Sorry. Goodbye*, Mori-**senpai**, see you tomorrow." Haruhi was quick to bow again, finding that it was suitable for almost everything, and Mori returned the gesture naturally.

"Good night*, Haruhi." He said, his deep voice rumbling through the air. He turned his back, already packing away the equipment he'd brought out and not used, and Haruhi felt the tension in the air suddenly as if she could cut it with a knife and eat it. Her apologies had not, as she'd thought, smoothed over the mistake she'd made and Haruhi couldn't leave with the gentle senior student still upset at her.

"Ano…" She said quietly, "Mori-sensei?"

"Hm?" Mori didn't even glance at her. Haruhi paused, her mouth open and ready to ask if he was still mad, and realized how childish she would sound. It was then that Mori turned to look at her, his tall frame towering over hers, and saw the thoughtful but inattentive gleam in her eyes. "Yes, Haruhi?"

The girl snapped to attention. "Nothing," she said quickly, hurrying to the door. "good night, Mori-sensei." Soon, Haruhi was on her way home, her bag clutched under one arm, and regretting leaving.

_**~OHSHC belongs to Bisco Hatori~**_

**Chapter Three: Kendo Glossary  
****Seiza – **_formal sitting position _(sit on your heels with your back straight and chin tucked)  
**Kenshi** – _kendoist_ (practitioner of kendo, beginner or experienced)  
**Mokuso** – _command to meditate  
_**Rei – **_bow _(literally courtesy)**  
Rei-gi** – _manners/etiquette_**  
Rei-ho**_ – the rules/concepts of courtesy & respect  
_**Wakare – **_during keiko: "dismissed" (signals the end of a session)  
_**Goodbye** – _lit. Sayonara, said when taking leave from practice  
_**Good night** – _lit. Oyasumi nasai, said when taking leave from practice_

**What do you think, everyone? Have I lost my touch? Did that van throw off my groove? Let me know in the comments below and have a fantastic rest of your day! Thanks for reading and sticking around!**


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